Here I am again....

I went back to the doctor's yesterday.

A new doctor, or, to be exact, a new nurse/practitioner. We're going to change my medications and start working at getting my blood sugars under control. I'm excited and enthused about the new start.

I wrote the following article a few years back. It seems time to bring it out again.

I am diabetic.

If you've never had to speak these words, I'm not sure you can know the power of the emotions that the words bring. Fear, despair, and anguish are but a few of the powerful emotions that have tried to defeat me. I'm sure that everyone with this disease has had to deal with these, and many more, on a regular basis.
2 years ago, I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes. This is often called "adult onset" diabetes, meaning that I was not born with it, but have developed it over the years. How? No one knows. There are many theories, but no real answers.

I guess that I have been in denial for a lot of the past 2 years. This is a common reaction to such a diagnosis. I have my share of health "challenges", and have had to deal with them for a great portion of my life. I just didn't believe that I would be given another one. Life would NOT be that mean, would it? Again, denial was speaking. Somewhere, in the wishful part of my mind, I thought it was a mistake, or that it would just go away. It wasn't. It hasn't. Now it is time to come to grips with it.

That is one of the reasons I'm starting this column. I think that "going public" will help me to be more accountable for the treatment of this disease. Hopefully, my future thousands of readers will put a little more pressure on me to "be good".

*grin*

I'm hoping that some of the things I've learned, and will continue to learn, about living with diabetes will prove of benefit to someone who might read these columns. There is a wealth of information available, but it is not always so easy to find. I will work to make it a little easier.

I hope you'll want to read this column, offer your comments, and yes, your prayers and support.

I am diabetic, and learning to deal with it.

I Get By - - with a little help.......

There’s an awful lot going on in my life right now.

Often at times like this, I start listening to music more. You know, music calms the savage beast and all that. Work, family, personal goals, economic decisions.... all are really absorbing my attention and eating up my time.

I was feeling particularly moody and philosophical this afternoon as Jackson Browne’s “The Pretender” came up on my playlist.
This has always one of my favorite "deep" songs, for years and years. Every word in it is a jewel to me.

Especially this verse:

"I want to know what became of the changes We waited for love to bring Were they only the fitful dreams
Of some greater awakening?
I've been aware of the time going by
They say in the end, it's the wink of an eye.
And when the morning light comes streaming in.
You'll get up and do it again."

I sent the rough draft of this post to my friend James. We often email back and forth, just little bits and snippets about music we’re listening to at that moment. It gives me a kick to share the moment with him.

Anyway, I emailed James what I was listening too, and how the lyrics made me feel all deep and philosophical.
His reply:
“I prefer the deep lyrics of
She Loves you, yeah yeah yeah!”

Ya gotta love my friends!
B.G.

Mark Twain on Illusions

"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live."

Mark Twain

Of Fountain Pens and Hard Drives

I've recently given in to an old collecting urge and acquired several fountain pens. Yes, the old fashioned kind that sometimes leak or skip. The kind of pen where you have to be sure the ink is dry before touching the page, or it might smear. I'm writing this piece with one right now, a pretty red-and-tan marbled pen with shiny gold nib and trim. There's something about the elegant style of these pens that I find most appealing. There is a nostalgic romance to writing with such an instrument. There's a beauty to the colorful body, the way the light gleams from the golden nib as it glides across the page, that I find captivating. I can almost see the flow of the ink, pouring from the delicate point to lie in not-so-smooth ribbons of words on the surface of the page.
When I'm done writing, I will enter the words into my computer, where they will become bits and bytes of data stored electronically on my hard drive. There are many advantages to having my thoughts stored in this electronic format, not the least of which being that it is much easier for you to read in text than to try and decipher the scrawl my handwriting. But beyond that, with the push of a few buttons, I can send these words speeding across my modem link to destinations across the street, across the river, or around the world. My words have taken a journey from the recesses of my mind, through the point of the fountain pen, a quick twirl around the spinning platter of the hard drive, to become electrons rocketing around the world at unbelievable speeds. What a tremendous opportunity this brings to each of us!
Because of the power of computers and the Internet, my words, YOUR words,can reach literally millions at the touch of the send key. This is a power, a privilege unknown to those that have come before us. I sometimes wonder what one of my literary heroes, Samuel Clemons, better known as Mark Twain, would have thought of the Internet and the World Wide Web. I think he would have seen this vision, grasped the idea that here was something that could reach out and radically change the lives of the earth's entire population. Something as new and bright as the morning sun. Something that needed some old fashioned qualities to polish it to a shining lustre. I think he would have managed to meld the old world with the new.
The old fashioned qualities, like honesty, integrity, value, and service are still necessary ingredients for our success online, just as they have always been necessary for success. In the new world of websites and e-commerce, our clients and customers, though sometimes beguiled and awed by the glitz and dazzle of a slick multimedia presentation, still hear that inner voice that asks, "Is this sincere? Is this of value? Is this TRUE?". For our enduring success, as has always been the case, we must answer those questions with a resounding "YES!", and then back our answer up with our deeds and actions. Whether our product is a tangible item, a service, or even the words written on a page or displayed on a monitor, it must be of value, of quality, of worth. This is the foundation we must lay to build our success in the world of fountain pens and hard drives.