Where does Self Esteem come from?How does one get a high self esteem?How you talk to yourself can be a strong indicator of your self esteem, or lack of self esteem. Have you ever criticized, even cursed yourself for doing something wrong? Have you tried torturing yourself by doing a monologue of how silly and stupid you are, and how useless you are to society? If you have been doing this on a regular basis, then you may have a low self esteem.
Self esteem is the overall image or value you have of yourself, it is how you look at yourself when you look in the mirror. If you look in the mirror and you see a loser who can do nothing more than commit mistakes, then you may have a very low self image.
A person's self esteem does not come from out of the blue. It is not something you were born with, although it is partly determined by the circumstances into which you were born. It is not manna from heaven and it cannot be bought by money.
Self esteem is acquired by a person early in life, when he or she was just a child. He gains a little of it whenever he practices his gait and he gets encouragement from his parents, even if he manages to fumble a couple of times or more. He gains a little more of it as he becomes a toddler and his parents would give him hugs and kisses and tells him he is the their most precious possession.
As the child becomes a teenager, he has more or less developed a certain degree of self esteem gained from childhood. This degree of self esteem can be developed if as a teenager, he is recognized for his little achievements, and given a pat in the back and a comforting shoulder whenever he fails.
When this child becomes an adult, his self worth will be determined by the totality of his experiences growing up and the way he was treated by his family and friends. A high self esteem can serve as his arsenal whenever confronted by damaging criticisms and negative feedbacks from various people.
Effects of low self esteem People who grew up in a very critical environment, where achievements are rarely praised and where faults are given more emphasis will most likely have a very low self esteem. Among the effects of a low self esteem are:
1. It can cause anxiety and depression. A person with a low self esteem is always concerned about pleasing other people. The more he tries to make other people happy, the more he becomes depressed and unsure of himself. And when he becomes unsure of himself, he will take this as a negative attribute, leading to a lesser self worth. It goes on and on until he does not anymore have a clear view of himself as a person.
2. A low self esteem can result in a setback in a person's performance in school or his career goals. A person who thinks less of himself will more likely have very low grades. If already working, a person with low self esteem will experience some difficulty in his career as he could not even perform his ordinary responsibilities well.
3. Lack of self esteem can create tension in a person's relationship with other people. Because he looks down on himself too much, this person cannot maintain a healthy relationship. He thinks he is lower than anybody and he is not worth loving.
4. Low self esteem can lead to dependency problems. Many people who have very low regard for themselves get into drugs because they look at substance abuse as the only way to confirm their existence. Others become alcoholics, opting to become intoxicated rather than confront the difficulty of facing one's self.
People with low self esteem or low self worth have very little or no self confidence at all. A single mistake, no matter how small, will always be blown out of proportion. A person with low self esteem will always blame himself for anything that happens regardless of the factors involved in the incident.
A person who has low self esteem is fragile and can be easily influenced by people who take advantage of other people's frailty. While self esteem has its roots in a person's childhood, it can be cultivated at any stage of life. With effort and determination, you can build your self esteem and enjoy the benefits of doing so!
Labels: self esteem
"Self-Esteem - Discover the Hidden Truths About Yourelf and Learn How To Live Up To Your Potential!"Were you one of those kids in school? You know which ones. Were you one of those kids who had a note from the teacher on every report card that said, “Johnny isn’t living up to his potential!”
It’s funny but did you ever think that the teacher had a rubber stamp with that phrase that she used to label every student? Actually, she wouldn’t have been far from the truth even if she graded you today!
Most people fail to live up to their potential. Why is that? Life gets in the way for one thing. But, more importantly, we have allowed ourselves to be crammed into a mold of how other people perceive us.
The only way this can happen is if you have allowed others to manipulate and define who you are. It’s easy to do. Somewhere it’s written that it takes 21 days to create a habit. If that’s the case then it should take 21 days to eliminate the habit, right?
Unfortunately it isn’t that simple. Why? The answer lies somewhere in between your self-image and self-esteem.
Have you ever heard the story about the fleas in a jar? It goes something like this:
If you place a bunch of fleas in a covered glass jar you will observe them jumping to break free. After a short period of time remove the lid. The fleas will continue to jump only as far as the top of the jar even though the lid is no longer there.
What’s the point? The point is that the fleas have become conditioned. They understand that if they behave in a certain way the result is predictable.
Well, the same thing happens to people. After years of bombarding ourselves with conditioned, negative results we become a self-fulfilling prophecy. We become what we think.
The really great news is that YOU CAN CHANGE! Change your mind and you will change your life. Do any of these circumstances apply to you?
Have you become argumentative?
Do you give or get the silent treatment from your partner?
Does your spouse nag?
Is your home life in shambles?
Kids out of control?
Do you feel angry all the time?
Have set goals only to fail to meet them?
Would you like to laugh more?
Are you experiencing feelings of helplessness?
You can take control and make huge steps toward improving your outlook on life. What you must change is not your circumstances, but your self-esteem.
Somewhere along the line you began to believe the negative input that bombards us daily. The first step to changing our circumstances is to change ourselves.
Again, change your mind and you will change your life! How to Build Self-Esteem will show you how to make those crucial changes to your self-esteem and do it in layman’s terms. Here’s how:
Learn exactly what self-esteem is
Where it comes from
Who gets low self-esteem and how
How to change it
Discover how to eliminate procrastination
How to define your self talk
Attitude equals self-esteem
Are you a perfectionist
How to grow a YOU attitude
Learn how to accept compliments
And much more
Low self-esteem is nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed by. It also does not mean you should blame your parents, siblings or school because your self-esteem is not what it should be.
It is true that in some cases, any of those factors could play a role but the majority of those with low self-esteem have just been susceptible to the negative influences that surround us every day.
The
"How to Build Self-Esteem" webiste will help you determine
1) Do you have low self-esteem and
2) What you can do about it!
Remember that your self-esteem is analogous to your self-image. Determine what is causing a low self-image and the cure for low self-esteem becomes simple.
If you are wondering why it is that other people are successful and you think you are not you need to explore your own self-image and your self-esteem.
To get started,
click here to visit the "How to Build Self-Esteem" website now!
Your Self-Esteem... It IS What You ThinkThe way you feel about yourself, your self-esteem, drives your thoughts. These thoughts transform into actions. The actions that you take are the key factors in getting what you want out of life. If you are not achieving your goals, take some time and evaluate how you feel about yourself
Achieving your goals takes repeated action and you can't give up too early. High self-esteem can give you the drive, determination, and personal power necessary to take these actions and be persistent until you achieve success.
However, if you are constantly critical of yourself, then these feelings will lower your self-esteem. If you have low self-esteem, then it will be more difficult to take the right actions to enable you to achieve your goals. This link between thoughts and actions is what keeps you from getting started or what causes you to give up.
So what can you do to conquer self-doubt and energize your actions? It all starts with positive thinking. Start off by spending some time congratulating yourself for what you have already accomplished in life.
So what can you do to conquer self-doubt and energize your actions? It all starts with positive thinking. Start off by spending some time congratulating yourself for what you have already accomplished in life.
Remember that there is a link between thoughts and actions. It's time to take control of your thoughts. Whenever you start having doubts, pull out your list.
Negative thoughts are the greatest dream killer known to man! Telling yourself "I can't" will lower your self-esteem, reduce the effectiveness of any actions that you take, and prevent you from achieving your goals. Your list of wins is something that can reassure you whenever negative thinking tries to take over your mind.
Instead, tell yourself "I can". Positive thoughts bring confidence, optimism, and focused action which give you a much better chance of achieving your goals. "I can" is a great way to plant seeds in your mind for positive thoughts. The resulting high self-esteem will provide the extra edge that you need to drive away your fears and eliminate any doubt that keeps you from accomplishing your goals.
Enhance Your Life with Gratitude Have we forgotten how to be grateful? Maybe you are asking, "What do I have to be grateful for?" Be grateful for the small things in life. If you ate breakfast this morning you are better off than the 800 million people worldwide who will go hungry today.
Most of us underestimate the power of gratitude. As we constantly strive to add more and more to our lives it is easy to forget about being grateful for things and talents we already possess. Making gratitude a habit will enrich your whole outlook on life, even in the most turbulent circumstances.
What we focus on grows. The more we focus on what we appreciate, the more we will have to appreciate!
Gratitude is a learned skill that must be practiced daily to develop its full potential. Practicing gratitude does not require elaborate rituals or a huge amount of spiritual awareness; simply taking a few moments to note every time something goes right is enough.
At first this may take a conscious effort, but as the habit takes root, seeing things to be thankful for becomes as natural as breathing.
Although grateful people tend to be happier people, being grateful is not the same as being happy. When life is turning out all wrong, being grateful allows you to focus on that ray of sunshine coming through. It allows you to take an honest look at a situation and say, "even in this there is reason to hope."
Do not confuse being grateful with settling for less. Gratitude should never interfere with your efforts to improve and grow. Expressing gratitude simply gives you a better outlook on life, making it easier to attract the true happiness you deserve. By focusing attention on what is going right, more things work out for the best.
Be grateful even for the trials in life. Your trials are what made you the person you are today. It is those very same trials that you strong enough to cope with the difficulties in life.
A big problem in today's world is that we have been conditioned to think we have to live a certain way, look a certain way and have certain things just to maintain a status quo. If we don't then we should be dissatisfied. While dissatisfaction can be a great motivator, without action or personal effort it only leads to frustration, anger and bitterness.
Grateful people have a way of looking at the misfortunes and failures in their lives and turning them into opportunities. These opportunities may not be readily apparent at first, but when the pain and frustration have passed, there they are. Every cloud has a silver lining if only we take the time to look.
You don't have to wait for good things to occur to express gratitude. Gratitude does not mean jumping for joy about everything in your life, but rather, that you see and take note of whatever is put before you. It means taking advantage of every opportunity that comes your way, whether presented as fortune or misfortune.
Enhance your life. Take a few moments right now and actively notice things you can be grateful for.
Great Goals Make You Stretch!
I began enhancing my personal energy level three months shy of my 40th birthday and after 2 years of struggling with clinically-diagnosed depression. During this same period, I was challenged, immensely by the debilitating effects of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and being rendered permanently partially disabled as the result of being involved in two car accidents in six days (neither of which was I at fault). I recall an incredible sense of emptiness and a daunting feeling of being completely overwhelmed; especially when trying to figure out which pills went with what ills. Unable to return to the vocation I loved, I received disability payments and simply existed. Most of my time was spent in bed where I eventually became 48 pounds "over-fat." When dreams and reasons for living are wiped out by the greatest, of the least unexpected, most people priorities typically change. My priorities? Well, they just disappeared. I was defeated physically, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually and knocking on "Financially's" door. Making the bed was not a priority; it simply went unmade. And when it came down to paying the bills, many went unpaid. One day I was moved enough to actually cultivate the emotion of being "fed up!" During this awakening, I made the decision to reclaim complete responsibility for my life. And I did.
37 months post accidents, I was 51 pounds lighter, and at least 52 times brighter. Following my "awakening" I set goals to become an author, speaker, consultant, educator, and private investigator. I quickly established myself as a successful personal energy consultant. I began to promote and practice life-altering strategies for change. My philosophy is that of a guerilla's - not a guru's. And, my approach is innovative, strategic, fun, proven and desired-results focused. I figured, if I overcame all of my physical, spiritual and psychological ailments, discovered how to run faster; jump higher; throw farther; look younger, stay up longer - manifest twice as much energy than I did when I was a "starting" NCAA athlete half my age - anyone else can do the "undoable," too! Whatever the "undoable," may be. When clients & friends counter and say, "Maybe it worked for you, Fran, but it won't necessarily work for me." I simply say: "Look, I have a central nervous system and so do you; I'm a child of God, and you are too!" They typically smile then sheepishly roll up their sleeves.
Miracles happen when you audaciously remind one of the Divine.
Paramount to enhancing my personal energy level was to identify, outline and write down my physical goals. Returning to playing competitive softball, being the team's starting "short stop" and winning the league championship were my top three goals. I promised myself I would return to play softball at a competitive level if it killed me. It almost did! Playing softball on several teams simultaneously, is quite challenging - even in the so-called recreational leagues. It left me limping around with a blue, pain-alleviating ointment. I had soreness in muscles I never even knew existed! Nevertheless, by season's end I had accomplished all of my goals.
As I continued following a disciplined program to attain goals in every area of my life, something just short of magical happened. My personality sparked with a resurgence of charisma, confidence and boldness. My muscles grew stronger, my energy increased and the fat melted off my body. Taking part in an activity not only became easier, but quite enjoyable. Suddenly, I was living life as I had designed.
Great goals make you stretch. They can take you well beyond anything you could possibly imagine! The most important part of setting great goals is not the goals themselves, but the person you become in the stretch!
Fran Briggs is the founder of The Fran Briggs Companies and is "a motivational speaker of the inspirational kind." She is the author of several articles, manuals and books including her latest, "Seeds for Success." This prominent voice of motivation speaks to audiences of children and adults of all ages and backgrounds with the aim of inspiring them to their respective levels of greatness. Fran can be contacted at http://www.franbriggs.com
We have all heard the expression, "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again." But to carry on without thinking about why you failed only leads to more failure.
The ability to create is a God given gift. A gift given to everyone without exception. Thought is the first step to manifesting any creation. Thoughts are energy, they are real. Your thoughts act as magnets and attract other thoughts, people, and circumstances that harmonize with them.
Thoughts operate and adhere to certain universal laws. Without these laws there would be no order; the universe itself would sink into chaos.
The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like. Much of what was once considered metaphysical, esoteric knowledge in the past is now scientific fact. Physics has shown that the principles involved in the Law of Attraction are every bit as valid as those governing the Law of Gravity. So it should come as no surprise that dwelling only on your problems simply attracts more problems.
The idea of attracting success by thinking about it is very appealing. So appealing in fact, people often get the wrong impression that it's easy. Affirmations can be helpful, but mindless affirmations alone have no real value. On the other hand, once an affirmation becomes part of your belief system the subconscious goes to work attracting opportunities. It is not the success itself we attract, but the opportunity to succeed.
Our world is ruled by cause and effect, yet we often fail to see how this rule applies to the thoughts we think. This happens because the results of our thoughts are so far removed from the cause that we fail to see the connection.
The subconscious mind is working tirelessly 24 hours a day. It doesn't analyze, it doesn't judge, it simply accepts and attracts more of what the conscious mind is focused on. Are you attracting problems or solutions? By focusing on desire and showing gratitude for what you already have, the subconscious mind is given the necessary material to provide a constant stream of opportunities. Whether we take advantage of these opportunities or not is another story.
It's impossible to operate outside the law of attraction. Consciously or unconsciously your thoughts, feelings, and emotions, determine if this law works for or against you. Stay focused on your success and reaching your goals. As one success leads to another, success becomes a habit. Problems and obstacles are seen as no more than stepping stones on the road to your ultimate goal.
